God desires to be so near to me, his chosen one

I was created for his purpose. And each day I have a choice to make.

Every day of these 31 years of my life, I've had a choice to make. From 0 to about 12 I didn't realize the power of that choice. Yet God waited for me. From 13-21 I think I knew I was making the wrong choice. I was not chosing God but myself. Yet my Father waited for me. Saved me from death, literal death and spiritual death. I could've been killed in a car accident, falling asleep at the wheel many times. I could have been murdered like Ms. Zimmerman and the many other women on the Madison campus who disappeared at bar time, only to end up dead. I could have killed myself, driving intoxicated behind the wheel or poisoning myself with alcohol. 

But God carried me through those times, for his purpose. Because he knew eventually, I would turn back to him and he would save me and heal me.

Matthew 13:15
For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

These last days of my life and these last two and a half years, I have known more joy than I have ever known. He has blessed me with the most humble man I have ever known, to be my husband. I have experienced the power of his resurrection in the healing of my marriage, the healing of the hearts of myself, my husband and my children, in the healing of the terrible disease that once had overpowered my husband but has now been overcome by Jesus. I have been released from this world. I have broken free and cut the ties to this world and all its evil tactics and traditions. And I have experienced heaven on earth - Freedom and the everlasting love of God.

I chose to turn to God for him to heal me and I choose that daily. And this is my daily miracle, my heart is not calloused. The miracle of resurrection power is alive in me because of my brother and Savior, Jesus. Completely unrestrained.

The Help

Recently, I was blessed with a gift from The Father.  A chance to see 'The Help' for free. I only had to travel to the Cross Plains library to do so. An awesome gift. Our schedule was perfectly clear and the window was just right, inbetween dropping my daughter off at school and her being done with school. Couldn't have asked for it to be more perfect.

The day before it was to show, I remembered this was what I wanted to do in the morning. I had learned about it a week or so earlier and quite frankly forgotten about the showing! Busy times in combo with a very bad short-term memory!! But I remembered and then very clearly was told by my heavenly Father that I was to go there to meet someone. I knew this was my purpose for being there, and the movie itself was just a gift of grace from my Father. All is gift and grace!

So I woke up in the morning, a pep in my step, excited about the time to enjoy a movie I had been longing to see and excited to see what God had in store for me there. I dropped my daughter off to school and headed to Cross Plains. When I got to the room in the library where the movie was showing, it was completely filled, back to front, with cute little grammies and grampies, also ready to enjoy the movie! I smiled to myself and then spotted the ONE open sit in the room, next to the ONE other person who was anywhere close to my age! And there she was....my ordained divine appointment. 

What a sweet woman. My Father gave me no fear about making a new friend and instilled only his will into our conversation. We enjoyed the movie together and connected in the way in which God intended for us.  She left early so our good-bye was sweet and quick. But I know our paths will cross again, as God ordains.

I drove home, in tears, with goosebumps, hands raised to the sky praising my Father for such a gift. The gift of knowing, the Holy Spirit truly, clearly spoke to me that previous day. The gift of the Lord finding favor with me, that he chose to use me (for what is still unknown) in this woman's life. Humbled, honored, grateful, awestruck....to be given the gift of his love, that he would lavish down on me, to be part of his plan for her that day and what a gift to me, to have her be part of his plan for my day.

The day I saw 'The Help' will be forever a day etched in my memory for the gift and grace God poured down from the heavens on me. I pray a day like this for all my brothers and sisters!