Is 20/20 really what's best for us?

Just before the end of school, Ashlynn broke her glasses; it was the day before a field trip to the Old School House having something to do with Laura Ingles Wilder. And she was reading one of the books of Little House on The Prairie, so she was super excited to be going to see this school house. When I called to see if she could be squeezed in to see the eye doctor, the appointment they made up (literally stuck us into the schedule on top of someone else) was for that next day, during the field trip. The horror!!! Do I decide she's not going on the trip or do I decide the glasses could wait, or more so her eyes could wait to get new glasses, for a good three-week wait? We prayed about it and were convinced she'd be fine without them for a few weeks.
As the weeks went on, she was asked by every new face two questions every time: 1) what happened to your glasses?! 2) can you see or is everything fuzzy? how many fingers am I holding up?

She would always say  she didn't know what happened to her glasses or how they broke (curious?) and she would always say she could see fine and it wasn't bothering her to not have them. So she went from wearing them all the time to wearing them never and was fine. Not once did she complain about not being able to see.

(Back history: she found out she needed glasses in Kindergarten after the school screening and having to go through it twice. :) So she's had them on her face for over 1.5 years.)

So we finally had our appointment and today was the bid day to pick up the new glasses, which I have to admit, are super cute. Especially since with our insurance, we usually get a selection of about 5 frames, none of which could be classified on their best day as super cute! And she is not wearing them all the time, just to read or watch TV or maybe for something else, but not all the time and not when she's playing. So there you have it - -

Me, on the other hand, I've been wearing corrective lenses for 21 years! yikes! Mostly contacts, though my current set of contacts is over two years old. Kind of a Guinness Book of World Records I might be attempting to set - how long can you make a one-year supply of disposable contacts last? They're getting down there, got some deposits on them that refuse to come off anymore, so I wear them for specific things only: working out (thought now at home I just go blind, no contacts, no glasses; but at our gym I wear the contacts) or if I want to wear my shades outside and still be able to see or go swimming. These are the only reasons I will attempt to wear them. Trying to preserve them for as long as I can. Why? Because when you have limited funds and limited insurance, contact fittings as you know cost $$ I don't have and so I make do.  It is what it is and until one tears (that would be devastating!) I'll deal with the discomfort.

So today I was mowing the lawn and wanted to wear shades but not contacts and I thought, if Ashlynn can go without seeing perfectly I should be able to handle it. Yeh, I need to follow lines pretty carefully but I'm not that blind! So I cut the grass today with no corrective lenses. This meant I had to focus on my line closer to the mower rather than looking ahead, down the line, a little farther into the distance.

And this is when my blog post started.

We, our family, has been very focused for the last year or more on living 'in the now' where Jesus is. Not in the past, not in the future, not tomorrow or next week, but now, which quickly turns into the past, mind you, by the second. :) Don't worry about where the money for our monthly bills will come from for the entire month, but do what we can with our provisions for today to take care of what we need to TODAY. Make plans for the future, tomorrow, next week, next month, but hold them LOOSELY, because we really don't know what God's will is for the future and can only live out what his will is for RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT.

It's like not being able to see 20/20 perfectly. For me, I'm nearsighted, so seeing in the distance becomes blurry. So I can choose to squint to get the best sight of what's in the distance as I can, or I can choose to aim my focus to what's right in front of me and take it in in smaller chunks. Looking off to the distance means digesting the scene in larger chunks, possibly missing the finer details because the picture is so large. Taking my focus off the blurry distance and the need to squint until I can't squint anymore, and placing my focus right in front of me means taking in smaller scenes at a time, constantly reassessing the scene according to the new pixels I've just moved into focus. Much smaller scenes, much smaller set of details to observe/digest and much more refocusing/readjusting with the constant changing of images/information.  At first it felt a bit tedious mowing that way, as I had to keep stopping and looking up to check my lines, to make sure I wasn't leaving 'mowerhawks' in our lawn (I like that, I think I just coined a new word ;)) but it was refresher after the first fives minutes or so, as I let it soak in that what I was really doing mentally was refocusing my eyes and my mind to now and I was not focused on the end of my row - or to translate - trying to control the uncertainty of what's in the future.

And, this also something we are strongly focused on as a family and what we share with our gym family, when we focus on now - what we need to accomplish in this moment, with what we've been given - that hands God the control (which he has anyway through his Sovereignty but he still waits for us to hand it over to him). Control of our lives, control of the situation, control of the finances. Instead of us always trying to fix/solve/figure out the future, we're living by the moment, for the moment which allows us to live in God's will for us and live out his plan instead of ours.

Maybe we aren't meant to see 20/20?

I believe something I've always heard, I'm sure you've heard it too - God's got the bigger picture, we only are a very small part of that picture. Reminds me of a manual camera. Those who aspire to be photographers (as I once attempted to be by self-teaching), like really good manual camera handlers, usually aspire to manipulate the focus to make the picture more interesting. Usually, the focus is on the important/eye-catching 'thing' and the rest is a blur or out of focus in the background. Right? Those auto shoot and point cameras put everything into perfect focus - almost a false reality if you think about it.

Sounds a lot like God's plan for us. His plan is the big background blur and we are the little in-focus spec. We can't see his plan because it's not meant to be seen by us. We aren't meant to have God-vision, A.K.A 20/20 vision, auto-focus on everything. We were created to live in the now, with Jesus who is in the now - the present. And our now moves us along in his ever-present big picture plan.

Maybe try it out. Take off the specs, take out the contacts and try living a day with your focus on what you can see without them. Maybe, quite possibly, it is what God had meant for you to see all along.

It's the human tradition that comes in and demands 20/20. Is it a sin to leave a mowerhawk?! I haven't come across that one yet in the bible!

All praise be to God for this post.

Fire, Fire, Fire

What a treat - I love fires!
Campfires, bonfires, fire pits - so many memories from back in the day. Long weeks spent up-North. Everyone has an up-north, a cabin, a summer place that has forged many memories.

My favorite memories from childhood are the weeks spent up-north over the summers. the day consisted of waking up, getting ready to go to the beach, playing at the beach all day, then coming home to eat dinner and sit outside by a fire, maybe go for a walk down the country roads and catch fireflies or be guided by the flood light of a full moon. Then go to bed and wake up to do it all over again. Cooking food over the fire, throwing trash in the fire, mulch piles, being out in nature for most of the waking hours of the day.

And then my sinful life took over full speed ahead, shortly after entering the teens and none of that was cool unless my boyfriend was involved and most likely some alcohol. Sadly.

So tonight was so awesome for so many reasons.

Tonight I was engulfed in fires. A bonfire - more like a small campfire actually - with a genuinely nice, loving group of people; all 'newer' friends of whom I've made their acquaintance a few times in their church setting.  But all so welcoming and friendly with no agenda but to love and have fun. I got to see a fire in the sky - a hot mess of glowing colors my Father laid out for me at sunset. But tonight I was outside to see it and I felt wrapped in glowing flames of love from my Father as the colors unfolded, so rapidly in the night sky. And there was a fire in my heart, remembering, cherishing those childhood memories of times spent up-north doing what I now know I loved and would give anything to be able to do again, but sadly at that time didn't know just how much it meant to me.

A fire can so quickly change whatever it touches. Tonight the fire forged new friendships for my whole family and deepened others. Tonight's heavenly fire reached down and surrounded me, bringing Abba's love right down to the ground to engulf me. And tonight this fire made me vow to myself that I will begin to make 'fire memories' for my children...

Because that's what a childhood is for.

Tonight, a miracle of Abba's love reaching down to me. Thank you Abba.

Perspective on Abundance

"It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a grateful heart." (from the Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews)

The topic of thankfulness (eucharisteo) has had my awareness heightened ever since reading this book (click on the link in this sentence) by one of my favorite writers, Ann Voskamp. We always take time at meals to thank God for our blessings that day, but to do that in more moments of the day, not just at meal time, is what can really start to make a difference. This can bring about so many changes in a lifestyle, just by being thankful at every intersecting moment of life - it's all about perspective.

"My God has bestowed upon me many gifts, and for these I will remember to be grateful. Too many times I have offered up the prayers of a beggar, always asking for more and forgetting to give thanks. I do not wish to be seen as a greedy child, unappreciative and disrespectful. I am grateful for sight, sound and breath. If ever in my life there is a pouring out of blessing beyond that, then I will be grateful for the MIRACLE of ABUNDANCE." (from the Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews)

When you simplify your life in such a manner - that everything beyond waking up with sight and hearing and breath (which truly is miracle #1, that God keeps everything functioning for you to wake up one more day) - when it is a simple as that, then it is easy to be thankful for the abundance with which God showers us every day.  

Many times  a week I think on these two words, Grace and Mercy. And for me, these are the definitions I repeat to remember which is which (notice the one word change that makes all the difference):

Grace - God gives us what we don't deserve (because we truly are wretched, not a one of us is good) - 

Psalm 14:¹ The fool^[a] says in his heart,
   “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
   there is no one who does good.

 ² The LORD looks down from heaven
   on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
   any who seek God.
³ All have turned away, all have become corrupt;
   there is no one who does good,
   not even one.

Mercy - God does not give us what we do deserve (which is punishment for our sins)


So God's grace rains down anew each morning when he wakes us up. To have a job to go to, to have a family to love and them to love you, to have food for breakfast, a hot shower to clean you, a car to drive, roads to drive on, etc. The list could go on and on, and when we face our moments with thankful hearts for what we've been bestowed, our perspective can change if you choose to remember to be grateful. But it is a choice only you can make for yourself, and it is one choice you will have to make anew over and over and over, each day, each hour. 

Thankfulness grows gratitude. Gratitude lays the path for humility. Humility puts God back on top where he belongs. With God leading you, what is there to be depressed about?  Choose to remember what he has done for you so far in your journey on this earth. Choose to be happy.  Even if your journey has not turned out how you planned/expected/wanted it to; start to partner with God on your journey and your plans will start to line up, this is how joy takes root and depression is uprooted. Thankfulness in everything.

I delighted, today,  in the dirty work of building a home for a family on the receiving end of God's grace,  and I am completely excited for this family to come to understand the gift-wrapped package of grace they are going to be hiding out in, each and every day after it is completed. The abundance of miracles in this one house, just for them - the space they need inside and out, the master craftsmen who are building with superior knowledge and love just for them, volunteering their time - a house that fits like a glove because God is carving it out day by day.

And it is so exciting because I know, firsthand, that our house is an awesome reminder of God's miracles every day.  It is our place to choose happiness, our place to choose thankfulness, our place to choose to praise him for his abundance, our place to place him back at the top, our place to live with a grateful spirit.

This is our choice, in our home, which is his and which is his abundance lavishly bestowed on us.  

Changed to bring CHANGE

As I was reveling in a another awesome Summer evening, sitting out on the front porch with my husband, drinking my Green Smoothie, I took a mental jog along a journey that has been a few years in the making for me and for him.

That is the journey of CHANGE! A healthy change. And what a miracle I am today, as a child of God, because I embraced the opportunity God placed in my lap rather than running from it.  There are so many aspects of our lives where the opportunity from God to accept CHANGE has been given and is, of course, the best thing to happen to our lives.

Why wouldn't it be?! God does have the master plan.

This song I've included sums up, to the 'T', the mission of my life (and I'm pretty sure my husband's too!). 


Changed (click on title to hear it (turn on your speakers, silly!) or read the lyrics below)
Aaron Niequist

in Jesus’ name i’ve been changed, i’ve been filled,

i’ve been found, i’ve been freed, i’ve been saved!

in Jesus’ blood i’ve been loved, i’ve been cleansed,

and redeemed, and released, rearranged

but how can i show You that i’m grateful?

You’ve been so generous to me.

how can i worship more than singing?

and live out Redemption’s melody.

 

i have been blessed – now i want to be a blessing

i have been loved – now i want to bring love

i’ve been invited – i want to share the invitation

i have been changed – to bring change,

to bring change

in Jesus’ name we are changed, we are called,

we are chosen, adopted, and named!

in Jesus’ blood we are loved, we are healed,

we’re forgiven and free of our shame!

we want to show You that we’re thankful

flooding Your world with hope and peace

help us  to worship more than singing

giving Redemption hands and feet

we have been blessed –

now we’re going to be a blessing

we have been loved –

now we’re going to bring love

we’ve been invited –

we’re going to share the invitation

we have been changed –

to bring change, to bring change

thank You for this new life,

thank You for the invitation!

God, we want to live it

loud enough to shake the nations –

in Your name!

we have been saved –

we’re going to shout about the Savior

we have been found –

we’re going to turn over every stone

we’ve been empowered –

to love the world to Heaven

we have been changed –

to bring change, to bring change

We've had the opportunity to be blessed - a home for our family - that we can afford - made with much love by his hands and feet on this earth.

Blessed with three beautiful children - who know who God is and that he is the center of their lives and he loves them.

Blessed with two businesses through which we get to experience God's love through provision of his perfect will for each day for each business. And a business that is much more than a business - and quite possibly has the best mission I could ever imagine having for a business - to share God with others in a direct and tangible way. That would be our gym YOU Factor.

We've been blessed with change in our faith - called growth achieved by daily awareness of and time spent in relationship with our Father in heaven. This also brought about by a miracle of God in allowing us to live each day being supported by his means, not means of this world. A change we had to accept and embrace with FULL faith.

We've been blessed with change in our health - called intentionality. Intentional attitudes to eat in a manner that we know is healthy. Intentionally exercising our bodies on a regular basis with commitment to never give up and to strive for more, to achieve more and better for the sake of our own bodies.  Intentional mental focus achieved by simplifying our lives in thought, spoken word, material possessions, desires, expectations.

And ultimately, intentional in letting go of the wheel and putting it into God's hands instead of our own.

These changes have brought change in our lives. And our mojo is nothing but to 'bring change' to you.  Living outloud, as the song says, the shake the nations in God's name. To love the world to heaven.

We have been changed to bring change, to bring change.
Care to join us?

God's Majesty creates miracles every day

Job 36:32
He fills his hands with lightning and commands it to strike its mark.

Job 37:15
Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash?

This is my favorite time of the day at my house. Looking out the window to see the sky on fire with intense, glowing colors! God knows this desire of my heart, to see his colors, his majesty displayed in the sky across the field, from my living room windows and my front porch. He placed the design of our home in the hands of a man he knew would situate our home on this lot and lay out the inside in such a fashion that I could go crazy every night over the sunset I am looking at out the window. 

 

Tonight there was an added bonus of lightning dancing across the sky. Words cannot even express what seeing his colors displayed and change in the flash of lightning does to me on the inside. My heart just burst with awe-struck wonder. 

 

There are so many miracles in his creation alone, so many things we tend to take for granted. GOD put insanely unfathomable wisdom into every part of our creation. He had to calculate things we would never ever think of. We just take for granted that that's the way it is because it just it. Well, it just is because, your Creator God thought it into creation to begin with. 

Chew on this piece of daily bread:

Job 38

The LORD Speaks

 ¹ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

 ² “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.

 ⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels^[a] shouted for joy?

 ⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

 ¹² “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
   or shown the dawn its place,
¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
   and shake the wicked out of it?
¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
   its features stand out like those of a garment.
¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
   and their upraised arm is broken.

 ¹⁶ “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
   or walked in the recesses of the deep?
¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
   Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
   Tell me, if you know all this.

 ¹⁹ “What is the way to the abode of light?
   And where does darkness reside?
²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
   Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
   You have lived so many years!

 ²² “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
   or seen the storehouses of the hail,
²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
   for days of war and battle?
²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 

 Hmmm....have you ever thought about every single one of those questions at some point in your lifetime? I'm guessing you've missed at least one. And if these topics of grandeur have escaped you, how much more the finite details of your every day life?

Today, we were shown this in a small way, just to reiterate that we know so, so little of the endless wisdom God possesses. 


Our beloved truck - it got an oil change and was running better. But it has stranded us in several places yet.  We took it to the local mechanic whom all the locals rave about. He's the one who did our oil change and we agree, he's a solid, very nice man. So he offered to look at the truck if we had trouble again with it not starting after the oil change. It played nice for about three days. And then, as I give it a mind of it's own, it decided a few days ago that it wanted to act up again. So we took up the mechanic on his offer and took it in this morning...

And, can you guess? yep, it started every time they tried to start it. 

That right there told me, it's not the vehicle with a mind of it's own (duh, right!). No, it's God, saying to us each time we're stuck somewhere, he's got something else  planned for us.  Once it was a nice walk through Middleton and a quick bite to eat at McD's.  Once it was a good dinner with a great friend. Another time it was a chance to choose God (by remaining pleasant) instead of the evil one (by getting angry) to show the kids I accept God's will, even if it wasn't my plan to walk home from the ice cream shop.  


And today, it was a chance to have God answer a prayer for a miracle right away. Remember today, the mechanic started the truck numerous times and had no troubles. So about an hour or so later, I get in the truck to take my daughter to her last Daisy meeting to Bridge to Brownie.  we had our brownies in hand and said a quick prayer that it would start. And it did. Thank you, God. And we were off, a mile from home, starting to storm and we make our turn onto the highway to head to the next town for the meeting. And the truck dies in the middle of the turn onto the highway. I coasted over to the side of the road and do what I do best - pick up the phone and call my husband for a 'great idea'! It's just a comfort thing. I know he can do nothing but pray, as well. 


I tried a few times to restart, after giving my daughter the option of walking home quick before it starts to pour or wait and see if it will start. Of course, we both want the truck to start so we can get our brownie on!


And I said outloud, 'We need a miracle God.' And this, the fourth try, it turned over. And I said sincerely, 'Thank you God for that miracle.' And without a second of hesitation, I threw it into drive and slammed on the gas. Tires screeching, open road ahead and behind and we were off, like lightning! On our way to get our brownie on. 

This was God's timing. And this time, our gift, especially to my daughter was to see God answer a prayer, right away, for a miracle. 

Job 42

     ¹ Then Job replied to the LORD:

 ² “I know that you can do all things;
   no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
³ You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
   Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
   things too wonderful for me to know.

 ⁴ “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
   but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
   and repent in dust and ashes.”